Children experience a variety of emotions in their daily lives: joy, curiosity, fear, anger, or disappointment. Especially in early childhood, they often lack the words and strategies to adequately express or regulate their emotions. Promoting emotional competence is therefore essential to prevent conflicts or manage them constructively. In this article, you will learn how to help children recognize, name, and express their feelings respectfully – both in daycare and at home.
Why is Emotional Competence So Important?
Conflict Prevention and Resolution
Children who understand and name their emotions react less impulsively. They are more likely to approach others and de-escalate conflicts. This skill helps not only in daycare but also in family life, for example, in resolving sibling disputes.
Social Development
Those who recognize their own emotions can also respect and consider the feelings of others. This strengthens empathy and social bonds – whether with friends in daycare or family members at home.
Self-Esteem
A good understanding of one's emotional world enables children to feel taken seriously and to develop self-confidence. Parents can support this by actively listening to their child and valuing their emotions.
Utilizing Everyday Situations
Naming Feelings
- Verbal Companion: Make emotions visible in everyday situations. ("Are you happy because you have a new toy?" / "Emily is sad because she fell.") This works not only in daycare but also at home, such as during playtime or bedtime.
- Mirroring Emotions: When a child cries, show understanding ("I see that you are angry/sad. That is okay."). A reassuring sentence from mom or dad can often be more effective than a quick distraction.
Stories and Picture Books
- Emotion Stories: There are many books specifically about emotions (e.g., Emmo and the Emotions). Watching and discussing these stories together helps children understand that feelings are normal and changeable – a great ritual for daycare and home.
- Asking Questions: "How does the character in the book feel? What could they do now?" Such questions encourage family discussions about emotions.
Games and Songs
- Emotion Memory Game: Cards with faces depicting different emotions help children recognize and name feelings – a simple activity for daycare groups or home. You can easily create these cards yourself: Draw or print different facial expressions on cardboard, laminate them for durability, and cut them out. Alternatively, pre-made sets are available online or in well-stocked toy stores.
- Songs and Rhymes: Music facilitates access to emotions. Singing together (If You're Happy and You Know It...) is fun and strengthens group dynamics, whether in daycare or at the family table.
Methods to Support Emotional Expression
Emotion Cards or Mood Barometer
- Hang picture cards with various emotional expressions in the group room or in a designated area at home. Children can point to them ("Today, I feel...").
- A mood barometer with a movable arrow can help children become more aware of their feelings – also useful as a morning ritual before heading out for the day.
Creative Expression
- Drawing and Crafting: Colors and shapes allow children to express their feelings nonverbally. Encourage your child to draw a picture after an exciting day to process their emotions.
- Dance and Movement: Free dancing, jumping, or stomping lets children release their energy and emotions – a playful way to express anger or joy. And yes, sometimes it can get really loud! Emotions don’t always have to be processed quietly – sometimes they just need to come out! 😊
Role-Playing
- Reenacting Everyday Situations: "How does it feel when a friend takes something away?"
- Trying Alternatives: Children can explore different reactions and see their consequences. Parents can support this by playing along.
Learning to Handle Strong Emotions
Managing Anger and Defiance Constructively
- Stay Calm: Children often mirror adult behavior.
- Offer Alternatives: Instead of hitting, the child can punch a designated anger pillow or stomp firmly. This pillow can be designed together – with colors, fabric patterns, or even a chosen name. This gives the child a safe outlet for strong emotions and helps ritualize dealing with anger.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Violence is not acceptable, but the feeling itself is valid.
- Establish a Household Rule: "In our home, we don’t yell; we say what’s bothering us."
Taking Fears Seriously
- Listen and Support: Fears are a natural part of growing up. Providing closeness and understanding helps.
- Find Solutions Together: A nightlight, a stuffed animal, or conversations about fears can provide relief.
- Use Family Rituals: A "worry box" where children can draw or write their fears helps them let go of them.
Sharing Joy and Pride
- Reinforce Positive Feelings: Celebrating achievements boosts self-confidence.
- Encourage: Genuine recognition fosters a positive self-image ("I see how much effort you put in!").
- Enjoy Family Time: Shared experiences – such as a "joy round" at dinner where each family member shares something positive – strengthen emotional bonds.
The Role of Adults
Being a Role Model
Children learn from adults: Those who openly talk about their feelings and handle them constructively provide an important model for children.
Responding with Empathy
Show that all emotions are okay. Children should feel that their emotions are taken seriously – whether anger, sadness, or joy. It’s crucial to convey that emotions are allowed, but not all behaviors resulting from them are appropriate. Boundaries should apply only to behavior (e.g., no hitting), not to emotions themselves. Instead of merely correcting, help the child find alternative ways to express emotions: "I understand that you’re angry. Let’s think together about how you can express it without hurting anyone." This way, the child gradually learns to verbalize and manage emotions appropriately.
Creating a Supportive Atmosphere
Foster an environment where children feel safe expressing their emotions without fear of punishment or ridicule. This applies both in daycare and at home.
Conclusion
Emotional competence helps children recognize, name, and appropriately express their feelings. Those who learn early to handle emotions constructively avoid escalating conflicts and develop open communication and empathy. Both daycare and family life offer numerous opportunities to strengthen these skills – from creative games to intentional "emotion talks."
In the next article in our series, we will introduce concrete tools such as books, games, and exercises that help children develop emotional competence and conflict resolution skills through play.
